Fix the Broken
by DeanSamCasWinchester
Summary: Destiel AU. Sam's a patient at a local hospital. Dean makes friends with the new nurse.
1. First Day

Castiel stared at his wardrobe for a good three hours before finally deciding on black jeans, a white shirt and a waistcoat with a tie. It took him another hour to take a shower, shave and dry his hair.

First day of work.

He was visibly shaking from nerves.

Working in a hospital again.

Castiel took a deep breath and straightened his tie once more, just to be sure.

He'd been a nurse for ten years; he could get through this. The next day is always the hardest.

He took the subway to work, figuring it would be faster than any cab in the morning traffic, jumped off a street early and walked down to the nearest coffee stand. While he waited, he read through his emails. He grabbed the coffee, thanked the server and went to walk away.

"Hey, Buddy. You okay?" Said a voice from behind him, startling him. He spun around, dropping half his files onto the floor. Immediately, he bent down to pick them up and stumbled into the chest of a tall man who steadies him.

"Hi, yeah, sorry. I just-sorry." He babbled, trying not to blush over his words. He looked at the gorgeous guy who smiled at him. Short brown hair, slight stubble around his chin, freckled lightly but oh god, his eyes were the purest green. Bright green.

"Sorry. I'm a little nervous." Castiel admitted, running his free hand over his hair. Shit! That would ruin the brushed look he'd wanted. Great, coffee splashed, organised, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. Today, Castiel was going to make a fantastic first impression.

"I'm not that intimidating, am I?" The guy replied, smiling a little. He run his gaze from Castiel's hand in his hair, all the way down him in a way that made Castiel want to hide. Truthfully, he was intimidating. He was easily the tallest person in the coffee shop, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that was a little tight but revealed his muscular arms.

Castiel had never seen someone so toned that wasn't on a fitness commercial. Instead, he shook his head.

"Starting a new job today." He admitted, checking his watch. Okay, he had enough time for pleasantries before he had to rush off.

"Here?" The guy replied, seeing the papers.

"McClaurens Hospital. Across the street." He went to point and almost knocked over his coffee.

"Really, you'll work there?"

"Mm, a nurse." He was used to people assuming he was a Doctor and it bothered him.

"Do you have a specialised field?"

"Oncology. Mostly." Cancer. He'd taken an interest to the field when he was younger.

"Oh." The guy said and then smirked a little, "I'm Dean Winchester."

"Castiel Novak." He said, trying to shake Dean's hand but deciding another accident might not be worth the hassle. Dean didn't seem like the shaking hands type.

"Interesting name."

"I come from an _interesting_ family." He replied automatically, cringing. He'd always been weirded out by his name. Why couldn't his parents have named him something simple like Dean?

"Angel, right?" Dean said in interest.

"Are you religious?" He looked for a cross necklace. No one recognised his name.

"Nope. Just watch too much TV. My brother is though."

"You have a brother?"

Dean's smile dropped a little. "Yeah, Sammy. Good kid."

Castiel got the feeling that there was more to that but, unfortunately, he didn't have the time to ask.

"Look, I've got to go." he said, gesturing to his files. A few of his patients would be transferring to the new hospital(as requested) for him to continue. "Thanks, for everything."

Dean picked up the files, "Come on. Least I can do is make sure these get there."

Castiel hesitated before telling him that that was unnecessary. "It's fine."

"I insist. Can't have you being late and missing documents on your first day. I'm heading that way anyway."

While Castiel gathered up the last of his papers, threw most of his coffee away and tidying himself up a little, Dean collected his papers. Castiel saw him open the file but didn't wish to tell him not to read them. Technically, these didn't have any vital information on. They were mostly his notes, signatures for procedures. Everything was done digitally nowadays.

They walked up the street together and Dean was happy enough to ask Castiel about his job.

"How long have you been a nurse?"

"Nine years, going on ten."

Turned out that Dean was the manager of the coffee shop across the street. He'd opened up the shop twelve years ago after he left school with his Dad and carried on the business.

"Do you like working there?"

"It's been a little worse, since Dad left but it's nice. I choose my hours, I get to meet people, learnt to decorate cakes once. Fussy shit that was."

"Your Dad left?"

He shrugged, crossing the road, "About a year back now. Selfish bastard." He shot Castiel a glance, "Sorry."

"Don't. Dad issues are nothing new. My Dad's an alcoholic deadbeat." He'd been raised by his older brothers.

"Sorry to hear that. Least you turned out okay." Castiel didn't have the energy to deny this. He was exhausted and he hadn't even began his day yet.

"I'm sorry for pulling you away from work." Castiel said when they reached the gates.

"I was heading this way anyway." Dean repeated and he gestured inside. "Better get going, you'll be late." Castiel nodded, a little sadly. Not that he was expecting anything. He wanted Dean to ask for his number or at least tell him to pop down to the coffee shop whenever he liked. But no. Castiel needed to learn not to expect too much. Or anything, in fact.

"Bye." Castiel said and he headed off inside, taking the papers from Dean as he went, "And thanks."

Dean waved him goodbye and waited for Castiel to get inside before even moving. Castiel headed over to the desk and signed in. Someone came down to meet him. His boss- Dr. Crowley- greeted him and told him to begin by filing away his patients. He sat down at a borrowed desk and opening the file on top. The inside cover of the file was scribbled on. He held it up to the dim light.

**ROOM 21C- ONCOLOGY DEPARTMENT. **

Castiel looked for Dean's explanation on the other side. Confused, he opened up the computer and typed in his newly assigned password. It took him a minute to find patient files and the right room. He opened up the file. It didn't take him long to find what he was looking for.

**PATIENT'S NAME- SAMUEL WINCHESTER.**

Winchester? He scrolled down until he got to the emergency contact details. There was just one.

**DEAN WINCHESTER**  
**RELATION- BROTHER**

He closed the tab and took a deep breath. The first day is always the hardest.

* * *

**AN- Hello. First chapter. More Destiel next chapter. I don't have a beta so all mistakes made are my own and I'm sorry for them. Happy reading. 3 **


	2. Gingerbread Men

"Hi. My name's Castiel. I'm the new nurse."

The man looked up from the book in his hand. The rings under his eyes were a dark purple, his face was sheet white. His hair was short but tangled, knotted around his head. His eyes were brightly coloured but gleaming with tears. Looking up looked like it hurt him because he winced in pain.

"Sam." He said in a gravely voice. "I heard." He sat up with a little help from Castiel, who could feel how cold he was. Sam had leukaemia, his blood didn't circulate probably. He was very cold even in the warm room. He didn't recognise the book. Then again, he didn't have much time for reading.

"You heard?" Sam wiped his nose and mouth with his hands.

Castiel placed the tray down on the side, trying to help Sam sort out his blankets. Sam had a wheelchair next to his bed for moving around so he pushed it to the side. Sam coughed a few times.

"Yeah. Even the dead are kept up on the gossip. I'm sorry to heard about Jo. She was a good kid." He sounded like his brother, Castiel thought. Jo was a young women who had died yesterday. He'd only spoken to her once, and she wasn't much for talking then. Still, he'd called her Mum- Ellen- and told her to come in. He'd watched the doctor's and nurses rush in her direction when she'd crashed. He'd been in the ward long enough to hear the sobs of her Mum.

"Truly." Sam had been asleep most of yesterday, "How are you feeling today?"

"Fucking awful." Sam said in a light tone, informing

Castiel that he clearly didn't like being asked that.

"Got any water about please?" Castiel passed him the glass of water he'd brought him. His shift was over once these rounds were finished, he was in no rush.

"Want me to clear up?" He asked Sam, who'd dropped a few books and cards on the floor. Sam looked shy but nodded anyway, probably unable to do it himself. Castiel had been pepped on Sam's condition, of course, but he didn't expect Sam to be so friendly. It was the time where his condition was improving rather than getting worse. Castiel realised why their Dad left Dean and Sam. Sam had been ill almost a year. He really was a bastard.

He picked up the books. It would be a long time before Sam was able to stay away from the hospital. His hair had started growing back, he'd be able to go home for short amounts of time and have to come in for medication, scans and follow ups.

"So, how's your second day been?" Castiel was surprised at the personal question, since most patients didn't ask the questions. Most patients had a decent reason to be hostile and grumpy.

"Okay." He'd missed out going to the coffee shop this morning, wanting to catch Dean some other time, after he'd seen Sam. Maybe Dean wanted him to look after him. As a nurse, he would but more so than anyone else would. "Better than yesterday."

"Mm." Sam said, finishing it. "Why'd you transfer here?"

Castiel looked up, he was even more surprised. "How did you know I transferred?"

"Nurses talk. Nothing bad. Just, don't always assume because our eyes are shut, we're asleep." Castiel smiled at Sam's honesty.

"Personal reasons. It all caught up with me, the hospital." He tried to be polite but it was a tricky subject.

"Argh." Sam said, "Did the food always look so awful?" He said, eyeing up his dinner. His sandwich and chips looked greasy and unappealing but it was piping hot and filled with carbohydrates, just what Sam needed.

"Don't be a baby, eat the food." Castiel said. It bothered him when the other nurses or Doctors treated the patients like children, since they weren't.

"Fuck you." Sam said, pushing his plate away in disgust. "It looks like someone's shoved bread, potatoes and a litre of grease in a blender and badly mixed it together." Castiel caught him smiling.

"Fine, don't eat it. You'e not getting anything else." Sam crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip in protest.

"You're a mean nurse."

"You're a mean patient."

Sam smirked. A little colour had returned in his cheeks, a mixture of effort, smiling and the steam from his food. The curtain was pulled back and Dean walked through, grinning. "Hey, Sammy. What poor nurse are you-" He saw Castiel and stopped mid-sentence. "Oh, hey."

"Hi." He said, disappointed at the reaction he got from Dean. "I'll leave your dinner here. Eat it or not. See you tomorrow." He finished in a rush and went to walk out, saying a quick goodbye to Dean. Dean held him back, "Hey, give me a sec. I wanna talk to you." Castiel didn't have a reason to say no, especially since Dean was a relative of one of his patience. He hung around just outside, in the deserted corridor.

The Oncology department here was reasonable small, compared to Fushia Hospital across the city. Where Castiel had previously been employed. He waited a minute and then once more a minute later, wondering if he could just leave. He couldn't shake the feeling Dean was disappointed to see him. And he wanted to know why. Dean probably just was a nice guy who'd helped him out.

Or worse, straight.

He spotted Dean before Dean him and said hi. Dean turned around and grinned widely at him, walking over. "Hey, sorry. Needed to talk to Sammy."

So Dean called him Sammy, despite Sam asking Castiel to call him Sam. Cute.

"Is there anything you needed?" Castiel usually deep voice had let him down, sounding a little too high pitched.

"What?" Dean looked confused for a moment and then a little disheartened, "No, this isn't to do with Sam."

"Is that so?" Castiel realised he was being rude, "He's your brother."

"He is. Thanks for looking out for him."

"It's my job. He's nice. Funny, even."

Dean looked away and Castiel realised he was looking. "He is." Dean said sadly.

"Is there anythi-"

"I want to be here more, you know but it's hard. Sammy used to work at the coffee shop to, when he had the time. I have help but I've gotta work sometime, you know." Castiel didn't know what to say so he merely nodded. "Sorry. What I mean is, maybe you could keep an eye on him for me? I'll buy you a coffee. Or if you can't, I could buy you a coffee anyway."

Castiel brightened a little. "You own a coffee shop." He pointed out.

Dean's eyes shimmered, "But I have to buy the coffee from somewhere."

"Maybe one cup then. I wouldn't want to put you out of a business. I'm sure we could work something out. Are you free anytime so-"

"Now?" Dean interrupted, looking embarrassed when Castiel frowned.

"Will Sam mind?"

"Cleared it with him. He'll spend the next twenty minutes complaining that the food sucks, he'll eat his food and continue complaining."

"I need to sign out." Castiel said, checking his watch. Technically, he should have signed out fifteen minutes ago. "And change." He remembered he was wearing scrubs and wouldn't want to look weird. He had clothes with him.

"Meet me back here in a bit? I'll go forcefeed Sam while I wait."

Castiel was back in seven minutes. The fastest he'd ever changed. He couldn't help wishing he'd brought something nicer to wear than jeans and a red hoodie. But then again, it was just coffee.

They wandered down the street, neither of them saying much. Castiel wanted to ask about Sam and how Dean had coped without their Dad. That seemed too heavy for a quick coffee. So he shut up and tried to think of something decent to talk about. The weather was out, it was neither warm nor cold. Sports was also out, due to his lacking knowledge in that area. What other small talk was there?

"Were you late?" Dean asked, cutting off Cas's thoughts. "For work, yesterday?"

"Oh. No, it was okay. I guess you're never late, are you?" He turned and held open the door for Dean, who smiled and walked up to the counter.

The girl behind the counter had bright ginger hair and a lovely smile. Her eyes open a little at the sight of Dean but she saluted and faked a small curtsy. "Hi, Boss. Didn't expect you to be in." She said, in a flowery tone.

"Hey, Charlie. How's it going?"

"Good thanks."

"You're okay?"

"Everything is good. Got some paperwork to do or are you about to visit Sam?" She asked. So Sam's illness wasn't a secret.

"Neither. This is Castiel. He's my friend. We're having coffee." Charlie turned and her smile widened.

She swung out her hand and offered it to Castiel, who shook it politely. "Hi, Charlie."

"Hey there, Buddy. You were here yesterday, right? What can I get you?"

"I was. What would you recommend?"

She leaned in while Dean chatted to another customer. "Get the hot chocolate and offer him the gingerbread man that comes with it. He adores the things."

Castiel looked back in surprise and she winked, "He eats healthy because Sam has too. But he has a wicked sweet tooth."

Castiel noted the new information because he hoped to at least get Dean to eat some sugar. Sam wouldn't know. Then he felt guilty for dismissing Sam so quickly; he was a patient.

He brought two hot chocolates anyway. And two chocolate muffins. He picked up the tray and walked over to Dean.

"Where's the best place to sit?" Dean turned in surprise and glanced at Castiel's choices, raising an eyebrow.

"I was supposed to be getting it." He joshed.

Castiel smiled, "Seat?" Dean looked around, the place was pretty busy. He pointed to an available, small table by the back of the shop. Castiel walked and placed down the tray, pulling out a chair. Dean joined him a second later and smiled at the muffin.

"Got a chocolate fetish?"

"Something like that." Castiel replied, he lived on sugary food while he worked.

"So, where did you transfer from?" Dean picked up his drink and licked the cream from the top.

"How'd you know I transferred?" Castiel tried to remember telling him.

"You've been a nurse for ages. Seems a fair assumption. And Sam told me." He smiles a little over his mug.

Dean licked cream from his mouth. Holy fuck, Castiel thought, he choose the wrong drink.

"The main hospital. Fushia."

"Why'd you transfer?"

"Personal reasons." He used the default phrase.

"Mysterious." Dean said, "Any more details than that?"

Castiel shook his head. It wasn't something he liked to talk about. He offered Dean the gingerbread man from his hot chocolate. It was cute. Dean grins and took it. With his teeth. From Castiel's hand. _Jesus._ Castiel didn't say anything for a while, Dean picked apart his muffin.

"Have you ever worked anywhere else but here?"

Dean thought for a second, "I used to be a bartender. Back when Sammy worked here with Dad."

"Like it?"

"Yeah," Dean laughed under his breath, "It was like working here but they didn't mind if I turned up drunk." Castiel laughed along with him.

"No free gingerbread men?" He said, watching Dean snap the legs off his own. He dipped them in his drink. Castiel realised he'd barley touched his own. He quickly took a few sips. It was creamy. Nice.

"Not as good."

They chatted for a while; Dean's favourite food was pie, he hated smoothie and kiwis. Castiel loved burgers but hated mint. They'd both loved in New York their whole lives although Dean had taken a gap year after finishing school.

"Where was your favourite place?"

Dean cleared his throat. "Just this little place."

"What was it like?"

Dean submitted to pressure, "There was this outdoors swimming pool in Nebraska, one of the months Sam came with me. He mostly laid around on the deckchairs but he loved it there. It had a little shop and one day we brought every single skittles packet they had and ate every single one. There must have been like 70 of the bastards. Two diving boards too. Sammy pussed out so many times till I pushed him off the big one. He hated him for hours. Four slides for kids. We spend every day there."

"Sounds lovely. How old was Sam?" Sammy was clearly a family pet name and one only Dean should use.

"About fourteen or so. He loved it. Roadtripping in my gap year would have been a lot better if Sam could have come. But that skinny little nerd wanted to study." He shrugged. "Maybe we'll go again."

Castiel wondered if he was used to thinking 'one day' in his head.

"Dean," Castiel said, "I know people say this a lot at hospitals but I've seen patients who were far worse than Sam who've recovered. Tonnes of them." And ones who haven't. But he didn't say that part.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean said, putting his hand over Castiel's. It was a tiny gesture, but Castiel heard Cas and he backed up. He removed his hand from the table and placed it on his lap. Dean looked put out.

"Sorry, I haven't been Cas in a very long time."

"What do you mean?" Dean frowned. Castiel debated whether telling Dean was the right thing to do.

Dean had been open with him, he'd told his stories. Why shouldn't Castiel tell his? Because he couldn't. It hurt too much.

"Doesn't matter. Cas is fine."

"Okay." Castiel wished he could replace his hand under Dean but Dean went back to muffin eating.

Charlie came over to ask if they wanted anything else. Dean tried to convince Castiel to let him buy some coffee that he'd promised. Castiel politely declined.

"I should get going soon."

"Really?"  
It was almost closing time. 6:00pm. "I'm working the night shift."

Dean glanced at the time, "What time do you start work?"

"Two in the morning."

"What fun." He teased.

"I prefer the nights. It's calmer."

"In general or at the hospital?"

"Both."

"Maybe... " Dean stopped himself and then went for it, "I could take you out some time? Since you won't let me get you coffee."

Castiel couldn't stop himself smiling, "Like a date?"

"No," Castiel's hopes died, "Not like a date. An actual date." And rocketed again. He nodded eagerly.

"Sure. That would be nice." They exchanged numbers and stood up to leave. Castiel was wondering whether or not shaking Dean's hand would be appropriate. Dean settled that by darting forwards and kissing Castiel's cheek. "Bye, Cas." He said gently, "See you soon."

**AN: Hi, hope you like the new chapter. Thanks for following. :) New chapter should be up within a week (maybe two). **

**The swimming pool I write about actually exists. It was my favourite place when I visited Nebraska years ago. We brought skittles from the shop every day. **


	3. Firsts

The problem with being gay, Castiel thought, is deciding who should call who. Traditionally, the guy calls the girl after three days.

Now both guys had the other's number; Castiel didn't know if he should ring first. He had to wait a few days anyway. He kept a special eye on Sam- making sure he was eating his food and getting regular help. He barley went in the room himself because it would look weird, but Sam was only nice to him on his rounds. He didn't mention Dean and Castiel wasn't going to bring him up.

After a day, Castiel finished work to find he had a text from Dean. **IS THIS IS PART WHERE I WAIT THREE DAYS?** Castiel smiled. He text back quickly. **IT'S RECOMMENDED.** He was shopping at the time and picked up sugar and milk. He lived a tube ride away from his apartment now and it was easier to shop here than at home, otherwise it was two tubes he had to catch. His phone buzzed. **SPOIL SPORT.** Castiel didn't respond, deciding that Dean was now going to wait three days.

Fortunately, the a couple day later, he went into work and wondered into Sam's room, to find Dean sat on the chair next to him. They didn't look snug- some patients held hands or sat on the bed next to each other- but they didn't. Sam was reading a book and Dean was looking through a leaflet. "Sorry." Castiel said automatically, and Dean looked up, "Should I come back?" He directed the question at Sam. "It's fine." Sam replied, lifting up his hand and waving Castiel's concerns away.

He had new bed sheets for Sam, as well as the menu for the week. He got on with his usual stuff, wondering if he should talk to Sam or Dean. He ended up chatting to both. "Mind if I change the covers?" He asked, wheeling Sam's chair over to the side. Sam got himself into it without anyone's help- he hated the fuss- and Dean offered to help Castiel. "Sit down." Castiel told Dean, wishing his scrubs didn't look so stupid. They were a dark red and he probably smelt like disinfectant. He whipped up the bed sheets and changed them quickly, he did this so many times in a day it was like getting dressed. He finished, got the jug from the table to be refilled with fresh water. "

Want a drink, Dean?" "

From the vending machine?" He asked, a little confused.

"No," Castiel turned the pillow and stripped off the cover. "That stuff will keep you in a hospital. Nurses get to make coffee for visitors." Not all of them. But he figured long-term visitors should get good treatment. Plus, he usually made tea and coffee for the rest of the nurses because he was the new guy. There were only five main nurses in the oncology apartment, and Castiel was the only male. They fussed over him like a new toy.

"I'm good thanks." He said, just as Castiel was finished with the bed.

"Sam, are you in pain at all?" Sam shook his head in an unconvincing way. He'd gone through a round of tests this morning. He looked paler than usual, they'd taken blood. "Have you at least had a meal since they did the tests?" They'd give him food but he might not eat it. He shook his head, glancing at Dean.

"Goddammit, Sammy." Dean uttered under his breath. Castiel leaned forward and took Sam's pulse. And then his temperature. Higher than usual and faster.

"If I get you food, you had better eat all of it." Castiel warned, turning round and picking up the jug. Dean followed him out. "Is something wrong?" Dean asked, biting down on his lip. Castiel struggled, "He's not helping his situation by not eating. His blood sugar level is low since he had a blood test but he'll be fine. Long as he doesn't keep doing this."

"I meant with you." Dean said, "Are you alright? Sam's always doing this, the fuckball." He lowered his voice so Sam wouldn't hear.

"I'm fine, thanks." Castiel said, even though he wasn't. Yesterday he'd gotten a call from his older brother and apparently, his Dad was being an asshole.

"Sure?" Dean said, resting his hand against his shoulder. Castiel nodded. "Wanna do something tonight?" Castiel brightened up.

"I don't get off till eight." He warned.

"Do you want to go out? Or do you think you'll be tired?" Castiel hesitated. It was his first twelve hour shift he'd worked in a while. He was probably going to be shattered. He wanted to see Dean caught the hesitation.

"We don't have to. I could cook something?" He offered.

"Are you sure?" Castiel replied, unable to find the smile. Going to Dean's house would be wonderful.

"Yeah. I like cooking." Dean assured and then pointed back into the room. "I'll need to give you my address. If I leave it with Sam..."

"I'll be checking up on him later." It took Dean a minute to say anything else.

"Okay, see you later." Dean said and he wondered back into the ward before Castiel could reply.

A date. At Dean's house. All his patients that afternoon asked what had put him in such a good mood.

* * *

Just before Castiel left, he had to visit Sam. "Hey, Sam. Did you eat something in the end?" He'd send a nurse to the canteen for some slightly better food than the actual hospital did. With lots of sugar in it. "I did."

"That's good." Sam had drank a lot of his water. Another good.

"Another book?" The cover was different. He hadn't remembered the title.

"There's not much to do here." Sam shrugged. He looked a little worse today than the past few days. Blood tests and sampling was something brutal for sicker patients.

"So have you always liked reading?" "Yeah. Used to drive Dean crazy." He chuckled a little.

"Why? Does he have something against books?"

"No." He yawned and Castiel felt bad for keeping him awake, "He just thought I should spend more time outside. He left something for you."

"Oh?" He tried to sound curious. "On the side."

"Thanks." Castiel quickly scooped up the picture without looking at it. Did Sam know that Castiel was about to go on a date with his brother? "Anything interesting?"

"Just a nice note. He's a good guy, your brother." Sam nodded sleepily."I'll let you get some rest. See you tomorrow." Castiel pocketed the piece of paper. Sam mumbled something under his breath, placed down his book and turned over to get some sleep.

Castiel opened the piece of paper as he got dressed and ready to leave. It said Dean's address, which wasn't far away. Will be ready at 9pm. Feel free to come around at any time. He'd drawn a apple in the corner and then a microwave (at least it looked like a box) with the caption 'I have a good smoke detector-don't panic.'

Castiel hurried up. He had to catch a tube home, get dressed and ready and there in less than an hour. The clothes he had brought were okay but really bad for a dinner date. A plain white t-shirt and blue jeans. The tube managed not to fuck up the journey and he got home, took a five minute shower and got dressed in ten minutes. He had just under half an hour to get there, he left his hair damp. It look pretty much the same, except darker and messier than usual. He got on another tube, flipping Dean's note between his fingers and got there just after nine.

Dean's apartment was on the fifth floor of a massive building. A really nice area. Dean opened the door. He looked Castiel up and down. He'd changed into black jeans and a black shirt. It was a bleak looking outfit but the only thing Castiel had that was suitable for a date. Dean was wearing a navy jeans and a lighter blue shirt. They matched quite well.

He invited Castiel inside. The apartment was huge. From the front room, Castiel could see into the kitchen which was large enough for a table and could see three other doors. The living room was huge, with a bookshelf crammed with books standing next to a plant pot. He had several rugs lying on the floor and the sofa was huge and covered in fluffy cushions. He had a TV at the edge of the room and a lamp which was turned on. The little coffee table in front of the sofa had a few bowls of nibbles in them.

Castiel whistled. "Nice place." He complimented. He'd always hated decorating. "Most of it was Sammy." He brushed the compliment away but looked pleased nevertheless.

"Did you see him before you left?"

"He was pretty tired but about to go to sleep. He's a good patient. The nurses there like him."

"Liar," Dean said, "They hate him. He hates them. You're the only nurse he's spoken too since he got there."

"Really?" He'd heard the nurses complain about Sam's tolerance towards them. He offered to watch Sam and they'd seemed grateful. It wasn't like Sam was unlikable. Dean offered him a drink. "Thanks." He sat on the nearest chair to Dean and they chatted for a bit while Dean cooked. Castiel figured it was best not to bring up work or Sam again.

Dean was amazing at cooking- although Castiel couldn't pronounce the name of the dish- and he even helped, despite never cooking anything harder than pasta at home. Dean had cooked for most of his life since they hadn't always been able to use their kitchen growing up. Apparently they'd moved around a lot and not bothered with proper home-cooked food. Castiel was the opposite; his Dad had paid for cooks throughout their lives.

After they'd eaten, Dean suggested they watch a movie since it wasn't that late. Castiel was fine with that. Even if he had the early morning shift at seven.

Castiel honestly meant to watch the film but he couldn't think straight. Dean rested his hand over Castiel's knee and whether or not he meant to, it slid further up his leg until Castiel turned to face Dean. He looked over and removed his hand from Castiel, clearing his throat. "Sorry." He mumbled, turning his attention back to the film.

Hell, Castiel liked him.

He continued to face Dean. Dean seemed to like him too. Or he wouldn't be here. Gently, hesitantly, he began to slide his hands up along Dean's arm and along his collar line. There wasn't a reaction. He used his thumb to trace Dean's jawline and then again along his mouth. Dean didn't move to face him so he tugged lightly on his hair. A tiny smirk caught Dean's mouth.

"Castiel." He whispered, briefly closing his eyes.

"Dean." He replied, just as softly.

When Dean finally turned to face him, Castiel caught the bright green of his eyes. "You okay?" He asked. Are you okay in general. Are you okay with this. He wasn't sure what he meant by okay.

It was Dean who leant in first. He pulled Castiel toward him and kissed him softly on the mouth, pulling back and hovering so closely when he spoke his lips kept brushing Castiel. "I'm okay."

Castiel didn't need any more encouragement. He closed the gap between them, his hands wrapped loosely around Dean's neck.

This time, Dean pulled Castiel closer to him, grabbing a fist full of clothing. His other hand pulled on Castiel's hair, tilting up his head so he can kiss Castiel's neck.

God, Castiel breaths out heavily.

He shifts on the sofa, pushing Dean down a little and straddling him; both his tights firmly pressed against Dean's. Leaning down, he kisses Dean, biting gently on his lower lip.

Dean purrs through his mouth, laughing a little. He was warm beneath Castiel. There was no urgency to move. Castiel pressed around kiss to Dean's mouth, and along his jawline, feeling the soft stubble. Dean hitched up the edge of his shirt, running his hands along his skin. Fuck, Castiel though, he was sexy.

Dean hands went to the buttons of his shirt as he pulled Castiel down over him a little further. He moved much faster now, shoving his shirt away like it was offending him. Castiel didn't even have time to feel exposed before Dean's head went down. He kissed down Castiel's neck and then his chest, running his fingers over Castiel's tender nibbles. Castiel couldn't have gasp and Dean looked up- checking he was okay- and grinned at Castiel reaction. He had the fucking cheek to bite his lip in joy, before giving a experimental lick. Castiel's grip tightened on Dean's waist as he keeps running his tongue over Castiel skin.

Castiel got two thumbs in Dean's jeans, undoing the button. Dean grabbed his hands. He crush his lips to Castiel's, "Should we-" He kissed Castiel again, scraping his nails along his shoulders. Castiel decided he'd better wear long sleeves tomorrow. "Should?" Castiel responded, not pulling back long enough to let Dean talk. Dean shook his head and released Castiel's hands.

Dean didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.

* * *

Castiel woke up feeling extremely hot. He was partially covered in a blanket from the sofa, with Dean's arm draped over his bare chest. He wondered at what time he'd fallen asleep. And at what point he'd put back on his boxers.

He squeezed his eyes shut, checking the clock next to the couch. He had about an hour before he had to get to work, which meant he had to move Dean. Dean was breathing heavily against his neck and moving him annoyed Castiel. He pressed his mouth to the top of Dean's head.

"Dean?" He whispered, "Dean?" He repeated when Dean didn't move.

"Mmm. Castiel?" He muttered sleepily. He blinked and looked up, green eyes hazed over with sleepiness.

"I have to get to work. You should get to bed." Dean had a couple more hours of rest at least. Dean fell back against his skin.

"Come with me."

"I can't." Castiel said, loving the sleepy child Dean. Dean nodded. Castiel slowly de-tangled himself from Dean's limps. He pulled on his clothes before Dean could say anything more and washed out his mouth with water from the kitchen. He turned back to see Dean peeking out from over the sofa.

"I prefer the no clothes thing." He complained.

"Bitch."

"I was rather hoping you'd notice." He grinned and jumped up over the couch back. Clearly a morning person. Castiel wondered if he was always like this or just happy after sex. "Sure you can't stay? We could grab some breakfast, take a shower. . . not necessarily separately."

Castiel was tempted. Dean closed in and grabbed his waist, pushing him against him and kissing him hard. With such a force Castiel held his breath. His hands went to Dean's chest. He could call in late. The nurses could cope without him for a few hours.

Dean noticed Castiel accepted it and deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Castiel lips. "Cas." he whispered. Castiel stiffens and immediately pushed Dean away. Aggressively. So much so he stumbled back, unsteady on his feet. Opening his eyes, Dean looked startled at the sudden change.

"What's wrong?" He asked and took a step towards Castiel. Castiel took an equal step back. He couldn't be close to Dean right now. How could he- this wasn't right. He'd fucked up.

"Dean, I have to go. I'm sorry. Just, I'll see you soon." He rushed out.

And Castiel left before he could do something stupid. Like change his mind.

* * *

**AN- Sorry for the slight delay in an update. Studying issues. All mistakes are my own. **

**Thanks for all the new followers! It's fantastic. :) **

**Quick thing- Dean & Cas are both adults in this and Sam is a few years younger in his early twenties/ mid-twenties. Just because it was kindly pointed out to me he sounds a little young. He's just a really stressy and an asshole honestly.**

**New chapter will be up soon. **


	4. Talk

Castiel wondered how long it would take before he'd have to tell Dean. Eventually but not yet.

Was it so bad that he liked that Dean wasn't sympathetic towards him? That he liked how with Dean he wasn't some fragile, breakable child?

The teeth marks along his collar proved that.

He grinned. "What are you smiling at?" One of his favourite patients asked. He didn't usually do home visits but this was special. He'd known him for years.

He was in his early twenties at most with light blonde hair and dimples when he smiled. He had pale eyes that shone in the artificial light of the room. He looked a little sweet really, but ill. Castiel smiled at him and went down to check his chart.

"I always wanted to be a nurse." The boy- Adam- said. Castiel wondered why he'd never known that before.

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"I started dying."

"Sorry." Castiel didn't know what to say. He spoke to dying people every day and yet there was nothing he could say. No words or phrase that could stop him dying. Nothing to make it easier. It was unfair how little Castiel had to comfort people.

Adam had first come into the hospital complaining of soreness, tiredness, unexplained fatigue and headaches. He never expected it to be serious. Five years and two reassurances later and he was at home. It was the kind of home that wasn't because he wasn't sick but that he was too sick. Making him comfortable was most of what they could do for Adam.

"It's alright. I spent most of my time in a ward. I get to hear about medicine and be near lots of dying, sick people so it's pretty much the same, right?"

"Pretty much." Castiel responded with fondness. His attitude was brilliant. Castiel couldn't help think he should have a chat with Sam, pass on some of his enthusiasm. The room he was in had been turned into a hospital room. The whole house smelt like disinfectant. Adam and his Mum lived in a bungalow close to where Castiel lived. His Mum had filled the room with plants, hoping they would clean the air with oxygen.

He chatted with Adam for a little while longer, because he liked Adam a lot and part of him felt bad that Adam was dying but had no one to die with. He had several good friends who visited him on a regular basis and his Dad was out of the picture. He was only eighteen, and hadn't been to school in three years.

He was given the morning off to visit Adam but when Adam fell asleep, he decided to leave. Castiel was good friends with Adam but he felt guilty that there was nothing he could do to help him.

He decided to check in on Sam since he was due a round of medicine. He entered Sam's room to find him reading, looking perky. He smiled as Castiel entered.

He went through his conversation with Dean yesterday; Sam not going to appointments, Sam rejecting help. It frustrating him that someone would go out of their way to keep dying.

"Morning."

Sam looked up from his book, "Hello, nurse. Time for my meds already?"

Castiel nodded and checked his obs. He took a look around the room- it had been cleaned. His books were stacked neatly in a pile and his clothes had been laid out on the side. His cards and flowers had been arranged as well.

"Dean was here." Sam confirmed and Castiel faced Sam's sheet and didn't say anything. "Not you too."

"Sorry?" Castiel was confused.

"Dean was in a foul mood this morning too. God, you would have thought I missed the goddamn apocalypse last night by the way he was going on."

His stomach tightened with guilt, "Did he say what was wrong?" He sincerely prayed that Dean had not told Sam that he'd spent last night having sex with his brother's nurse.

"No. Stubborn bastard." Castiel smirked as he remembered Dean saying similar things about Sam.

"He'll get over it." Would Dean _have_ to get over it? Like he'd have to get over a one night stand. Castiel didn't want to be Dean's one night stand but he also knew it was unfair to date Dean. "How are you feeling today?"

"Okay." Sam said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Sam's tone became defensive. "Dean doesn't have to talk to me about things that bother him."

Castiel shook his head and went for it, "Is that why you don't talk to him, as revenge?"

Sam's looked up, frowning at Castiel. He was speechless for a moment and then carried on. "I talk to him."

"So why aren't you taking your medicine? Or eating? And don't me bullshit about it tasting weird."

"Fuck off, Castiel."

"You can't avoid questions forever." He meant to be gentle. Fuck, he really meant to go gentle. But he was mad. No, he was furious that someone like Sam could reject the help he was given. "Just because they're inconvenient for you."

"I said fuck off. I'm not talking about this." Sam locked his jaw in place and held down his head, scrunching up the pages of his book.

"Well I fucking am." Castiel said quietly, trying to calm back down. Yelling at a patient could get him fired. "What are you trying to do? You'll die!"

"That's the fucking point!" Sam said, shoving the side desk next to him. His vase of flowers shattered into pieces.

Castiel barley had time to register what he was saying, "Why? Why the fuck-?" He couldn't finish.

"Because it hurts." Sam said, pressing his hands into his head. He breathed out heavily, "It hurts to eat and pretend to care and pretend that I'm fine all the fucking time. It's over for me okay? This is what kills me."

"And you think suicide is the answer?! What about everyone else? What about Dean? Do you think it will stop- ever stop- hurting him? That you gave up!"

"You don't know anything!" Sam screamed, "What do you know about Dean?"

Two doctors came running into the room, freaking out. It broke Castiel. He watched the doctors fuss over Sam, asking if it hurt anywhere and what was wrong. Before, Castiel left, Sam looked up at him. His eyes were no longer watery; they were on fire.

Castiel didn't wait to hear what was happening. He left the ward and he stormed into the empty staff room, breathing out too fiercely to hear a thing. He spun around and drew him hand. He wasn't sure who he was crying for anymore. He just wanted to cry.

* * *

His supervisor gave him an unofficial meeting. Sam didn't tell them what happened. He just sat in silence and refused to talk to anyone according to Darren, the supervisor. They all assumed Sam had gotten annoyed at Castiel for some reason, no harm done. Sam's condition hadn't changed, he'd been able to leave in a few days.

Castiel was partially grateful. Dean was never going to talk to him again.

He'd really fucked up. And broken his wrist in the process. He'd lied about that too, saying he'd tripped. People didn't question that but it seemed suspicion his knuckles were split open and need stitches. He had the rest of the day off to recover.

* * *

He got several phone calls from Dean that night but he rejected the first three and then turned his phone off. Castiel really didn't want to hear what he had to say.

Adam was first on his rota that morning which meant another home visit and he had heard all about it. Typically. Other nurses when to see him since they didn't have one permanently available. "Don't worry." He chuckled as Castiel came in for his check-up, "I won't start freaking out on you."

"Does everyone know?"

Adam laughed and shook his head, "Some poor bastard died yesterday before I got the chance to tell him." Morbid humour. Adam's Mum arrived a few minutes later and gave Castiel a tight hug. "Thank you for watching my boy." She said before kissing Adam on the cheeks and sitting down in the chair next to him. She stroked his hand.

"How are you feeling, Love?"

"I'm good, Mum."

Castiel left them to talk and walked back to the hospital or his shift. He was given the most mundane job because of his hand- fetching new water, changing bed sheets, cleaning up, bringing up new equipment. He was lucky that the nurses helped him out. He saw Dean as he was leaving, heading into Sam's room. But Dean didn't see him.

The next day was worse. He couldn't stop thinking about the Winchesters. About how he should know how to help Sam. How he should be able to like Dean and not feel like he was cheating. He knew these things but it was like knowing that an algebraic equation made sense. He still couldn't figure out how it should work. Only that it should.

He worked the night shift, helping out on other wards if they were short staffed. It didn't take much effort to forget himself in the work. Around midnight, he had to check on Sam. He waited until he was sure Sam would be asleep before heading in, as quietly as possible. Sam was wide awake, waiting for him.

"Castiel." He said softly, "I'm sorry."

Castiel was startled, "What?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things." He looked so scared, and really really sad. He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't want to leave Dean but I hurt him everyday." Sam broke down in tears, sobbing into his hand. Castiel rushed towards him and pulled his hands away from his face, forcing Sam to look at him.

"Sam, your brother _loves_ you." He looked much younger in the dark.

"No." he said, "I'm the reason Dad left. The reason he has to work in the shop constantly. He used to be so happy."

"He is happy." Castiel felt desperate to prove to Sam that everything was okay. "He's so happy you're alive."

Sam shook his head, "He'd be better off without me here."

"Don't ever say that. Don't you dare." Castiel wanted to make Sam see that Dean loved him. Why was it obvious to Castiel but not Sam?

"It's like he's the one dying." Sam cried into Castiel's shoulder, deep sobs that sounded so weak, as if he didn't have the will to stop himself.

"He loves you, Sammy. And I know that it doesn't seem like it's enough but it's all he can do right now. It's not killing him that you're dying; it's killing him that he can't save you. And killing yourself, is not the way to save your brother either."

He wished Sam would understand. "It wouldn't stop him from being in pain, though. I promise you that."

"He'd be fine." Castiel swallowed to try to remove the hard lump forming in his throat, "He'd have you."

"What?"

Sam laughed a little at his reaction, despite still being so upset. "Come on. You guys stare at each other like stars are flying out your eyes."

Castiel snorted at his response. "We're not together."

"Why not?" Sam asked so bluntly, Castiel actually considered telling him.

"I'd make a shitty boyfriend. Dean should be with someone who's not as..." He struggled to find the right word. "Stupid?"

"Dean likes you."

"Dean likes people. That's his thing."

Sam couldn't help think that Castiel liked Dean. Maybe he was wrong. "Are you gay?"

"Bi." Castiel answered truthfully, he dated men and women. He was glad to distract Sam.

"So, you just don't like Dean?" Castiel shook his head and thought about last night. He bit his lip. Definitely wasn't the case of him not finding him attractive. He found Dean fucking gorgeous.

"No. I do. I just can't right now." Castiel shrugged defencelessly.

"Got a girlfriend?"

"No!"

"Boyfriend?"

"No. Just, I can't. It's complicated."

"Complicated as in your dying of cancer and your dying wish is for the hot nurse to fuck his brother?"

"Sam!" Castiel said, slapping his arm playfully, "Come on!"

"In my experience, it's meant to be you doing the coming."

They both dissolved into laughter, although Sam still sounding sad, ignoring the unpleasantness before.

"Just talk to him, okay?" Sam said seriously for once.

"I'll strike you a deal. Go to see a therapist. I know an awesome one called Bobby Singer. He doesn't believe in the whole talk-it-out-feeling crap. He think it's bullshit."

"Sounds like a great therapist." Sarcastic bitch, Castiel thought, like his brother.

"He is. Go to one session and I'll talk to Dean." He had to talk with Dean anyway, even if it was just to explain why he'd bolted this morning.

"One session?" Sam checked.

"And I'll talk to Dean." Castiel confirmed.

Sam narrowed his eyes and then sighed loudly."Fine."

Castiel smiled. At least he could do something right.

He went over and picked up his phone, turning on the screen and having a look. Three texts from Dean.

**CASTIEL I NEED TO TALK TO YOU**

**PICK UP YOUR PHONE**

**WHAT HAPPENED?**

He waited until his 12 hour shift was over to call Dean. He answered on the third ring.

"Castiel, are you okay? I got a call saying Sam had freaked out? What happened? He didn't hurt you did he? He wouldn't tell me anything."

"Dean." Castiel cut him off in a low tone, "It's okay. Are you at the shop?"

"No. I'm out."

"Okay. I spoke to Sam. It didn't go well... I... I yelled at him."

"You yelled at my brother, what the fuck?" Now he sounded really pissed off. Castiel tried to keep his own thoughts calm.

"Because he said things."

"What things? He's sick, Castiel!"

"I know, but I lost it. He's fine, it didn't change his condition."

"It fucking could have!"

Castiel didn't talk for a minute. "I know." He replied finally. He heard Dean breathing on the other side of the phone. He wasn't prepared for Dean's anger. He didn't think Dean could ever be so annoyed.

"Dean. I'm sorry about that morning."

Dean's voice was low and calm as he replied, "I'm sorry about that night."

And he hung up the phone.

* * *

Hello. New chapter. Just a gap filler really for next chapter. Lots of Destiel. :)

Thank you so much for your favourites and follows, it means a lot to me! Lots of pie for you.


	5. Deal

Castiel had never felt so bad. He barley slept that night. Around four in the morning, he decided that talking to Dean when he cooled down a bit was the best solution. Sam agreed to see a therapist, surely something good came out of it?

But what Castiel did was highly unprofessional. If the hospital found out, he could be fired for upsetting a patient and using abusive language.

Why did he have to care about Dean? He realised in the handful of meetings, two barley official dates and one glorious sleepover that he'd begun to like Dean. Like really like him.

He didn't want Dean to hate him. Even if there's no chance of them having a relationship, he still needs to help Sam out as a patient. How could he do that if he can't be in the same room as Dean?

Work noticed his scattered brain self as he went in the next morning. He still had shitty jobs because of his hand. He booked Sam an appointment with Dr. Singer almost immediately and scheduled it with the nurses on the ward. There was no backing out for Sam, whether the two minute phone call with Dean counted on his behalf or not; he was getting help.

After work, he went shopping for groceries and stayed in. Castiel felt lost, like he had nothing to do. Usually there was something. He text Dean again and again but never sent them. He hovered over his phone, hoping Dean would call him but nothing. It was frustrating.

Late in the evening, he grabbed his coat and headed outside, hailing a taxi. There was no chance of a decent bus at this hour. He headed for Dean's apartment and within half an hour, was outside his door. He picked up his phone and finally sent a simple text. ARE YOU HOME?

There was no response but he heard what he needed, a slight vibrating from inside. Dean's phone was on the table, where he left it on loud encase the hospital rang. Castiel knew he would. Gently, he knocked on the door.

"Dean?" He called out, "Dean, I know you're there. Please, I want to talk to you. I promised Sam."

He heard footsteps but the door remained shut. Bloody apartment, opening with some stupid key card.

"I'm sorry I shouted at Sam. I should never have gotten angry at him when he's ill. I never would have done that." Castiel felt like he was talking to himself but carried on anyway, in the hope that Dean would be listening, "I went too far because I knew Sam wouldn't listen otherwise. He's stubborn. Like some other Winchester I know." Castiel added quietly but he knew Dean would be able to hear that if he tried, "It was wrong of me to upset Sam, upset anyone actually."

He waited for a few minutes to see if Dean opened up the door. Fucking hell, "I'm also sorry I ran out on you, Dean. It wasn't like I wanted to leave, I just felt like I had to get out of there. It's complicated. I need to talk to you, not a door, okay? If you let me in, I'll explain to you why I'm such an assbutt." He struggled for the right words.

"Please let me in." He heard a faint clicking noises and the door opened, Dean stood there like he'd just woken up. His hair was tousled and his eyes bright green. He was wearing low hanging jogging bottoms and a hoddy that was two sizes too big. Castiel knew it must be Sam's. "You'd, erm, you'd better come inside."

"Dean." he began, but Dean stopped him.

"The hospital rang. Sam agreed to see someone? For depression?" He looked suspicious. He shut the door behind Castiel but took three steps back away from him.

"He did if I spoke to you." Castiel shrugged. He ran his hands through his hair and put his hands in his pockets.

"So speak." Dean said, averting his eyes.

"Did you hear me outside?" Castiel was now hesitant to talk to Dean, especially as he wouldn't look at Castiel.

"Bits of it." He didn't elaborate.

"Okay." Castiel said slowly. "I'm sorry I shouted at Sam. I had no right to but it was difficult for me to hear what he was saying. He's really depressed, Dean and he said things that hit pretty close to home."

Dean leant against the edge of the sofa but didn't sit down. Castiel took it as a sign to continue. "I walked out on you. I don't regret sleeping with you Dean, even if you regret sleeping with me. You... You called me, Cas."

Dean stood up and immediately walked towards Castiel, who retreated. "That's your fucking name!" Dean exploded in anger. "I know I have very little right to be annoyed at you, since we went on like one date and then fucked but an explanation. Seriously, Castiel. I thought you liked this."

"I like you, Dean but it's not easy for me."

"Are you in a relationship?" He asked bluntly, like Sam.

"No. I'm not in a relationship or cheating or anything you're imagining." Castiel was too upset to think straight. With himself and with Dean it was too much. He liked Dean. He honest to God liked Dean.

Castiel spat out his sentence. "I transferred hospitals because I met and fell in love with one of my patients. And she loved me back."

"What?"

"Meg Masters." He quickly replied before Dean could ask anything else. "I loved her and I watched her die. Okay. So, yeah. This was over a year ago. And I'm not in love with her but I was and with you I feel like I'm cheating, even though I'm not." Dean breathed out heavily as Castiel looked up, "She called me Cas."

Castiel thought about Meg and her long hair and cunning smile and helpless flirting.

_"Clarence, what time are you getting off?" _

_"Sorry?" Castiel replied. "What were you thinking?" _

_She smiled up at him, "Oh, Cas, you can get off any time you like, long as I can get off at the same time." _

_"You're so bad." _

_"And you love it." _

He watched Dean process the information, waiting for him to back off. He was next to Castiel, only a step away but not touching. Dean was watching him carefully but he didn't move.

"And Clarence too. Oddly enough. She kept forgetting who I was. Tumour. You know? I'm not making excuses, I just meant that it hurts to think about her and it ruined the morning for me. It meant I would have to tell you about her and I've never told anyone about her."

"Nobody? Not even your family?"

"I'm only close to one of my brothers and that's a stretch. My friends all worked at the hospital, they might have fired me."

"What happened?"

"She died. Over a year ago now." Castiel said firmly.

"Must have been hard. Not talking to anyone about it." Castiel didn't respond as he was pulled over to the couch where Dean pulled him even closer. "Tell me about her." Dean said softly. Castiel did.

* * *

He woke up that morning on a sofa, lying curled up next to a warm body. Castiel opens his eyes to see Dean, who'd fallen asleep next to him (thank goodness for Dean's wide sofa) with a thin blanket. At some point he'd taken off his shoes but that was pretty much it.

Castiel waited a minute and tried to count the freckled on Dean's cheek. He slept so quietly.

He climbed over the back of the sofa, disturbing Dean but not waking him. It was only 5am but Castiel couldn't go back to sleep. He also couldn't leave either, he realised; running out twice with no explanation. He grabbed a book from the side and ran his hand down the spine. A cancer book.

He put it back down and made himself a cup of coffee, hoping Dean wouldn't mind. Actually, Dean owned him a cup. After last night, he wasn't sure. Telling Dean had complicated things to no end. On one hand, he felt honest. On the other hand, it meant he trusted Dean. He liked Dean. Fuck.

He stirred his coffee and read the news on his phone when it started ringing. It startled him so much he dropped it on the counter, making a very loud clanging sound as he picked it up. "Hello?" He said, hoping it wasn't work.

"Hey, little brother." He heard Gabriel yell into the phone.

"Gabriel, I'm busy. Sorry." he mumbled, watching Dean and hoping he'd hadn't just woken him up.

"Sure. With what?"

"Stuff. Look, it's really early and-"

Gabriel interrupted him, he did that a lot, "You haven't answered my calls."

"You've only rung like three times. I have a few more excuses I can use." He whispered, hoping his annoying brother would get the message that he really couldn't talk.

"Fine, fine. I get it. You're too busy to talk on the phone with your brother." Thank you, Castiel thanked God for small hints. "I'm coming round next week to stay for a few days."

"What?!" Castiel said, forgetting to be quiet, "Gabriel-"

"See you." And he hung up the phone before Castiel could object.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fucking hell."

"If you insist." Came a heavy voice from the living room, as Castiel swore loudly. He gripped the handle of his mug and bit down on his lip. Gabriel couldn't come on his apartment, there was no space and besides, he didn't even know what Castiel lived. Of course, Dad will have been 'checking' up on him. This was another way of forcing Castiel to do what he wanted.

Castiel's Father was a drunken, neglectful man who was handed power and never earn a single cent in his life. His kids, which were all raised by a string of helpless nannies, were his biggest accomplishment and he wanted them to do well. Castiel was supposed to be a Doctor, when he choose nursing instead, his Dad called him a pussy and forced him out the house.

Now a spawn of his Father was coming here, probably to spy on him.

And he's woken Dean.

That, however, turned out to be a positive aspect as Dean was fucking attractive sleepy with messy hair and flushed cheeks. His clothes were rustled nicely and he yawned. "Mornin'." He said deeply. "Who's on the phone?"

"Family. Sorry to wake you."

"S'okay. You can find a way to make it up to me." Dean sat up and smiled coyly at Castiel.

Castiel walked back to the couch and sat down, pulling Dean close and kissing him softly on the lips. Dean immediately pulled him closer and pressed harder. Dean's skin was warm and soft in the morning or maybe it was all the time. Castiel wanted to find out. Eventually, Dean moved away and looked up. Castiel was in the process of tugging off Dean's shirt when he heard Dean speak.

"Cas?" He didn't flinch this time or more away. He felt guilty but it was someone he could work on.

"Yeah?" He replied, kissing him on his neck until Dean squirmed underneath him.

"Why does my clock say it's five in the fucking morning?" Castiel couldn't help it. He started laughing.

* * *

**Hope you like the new chapter. Another one should be up in less than a week. I have a few more things I want to do in this story. Thank you so much for the reviews/ favourites/ follows last chapter. I freaking love you all. :) **


	6. Stable

"A deal's a deal, Sam. I spoke to Dean." Castiel complained as Sam was fussing over going to see Bobby. Bobby had a very unique approach to most problems. He hit them head on and didn't take no for an answer.

"Dean practically skipped in this morning. You did more than talk." Sam sulked. He was sat in his chair this morning, all his things packed and ready to go. He wasn't taking no for an answer.

"You're going to see Bobby."

"Make me."

Castiel was quiet for a moment. He heard Dean walk in and spun around to face him. Dean looked a little pissed. Castiel smiled at him- they'd had such a good morning. Dean stared past him.

"See a fucking therapist, Sam."

"Dean." Castiel tried to calm him down.

"Fuck off." He said in a low tone that made Castiel take a step back.

"Great talking." Sam commented, "So you lied to me?" He addressed Castiel directly, ignoring Dean. Castiel looked between them both. Dean was looking increasing furious and Sam too. Did they even realise how similar they were?

"I spoke to him." Castiel said quietly, glancing at Dean in hope he'd back him up. Apparently not.

"Stop talking about your bloody deal! You made a deal with Sam, great. I feel so privileged you slept with me because you made a deal!"

"You had sex?" Sam looked shocked. Castiel couldn't decide who the question was aimed at but he certainly wasn't going to be the one to answer it.

"No, we just fucking slept soundly. Grow up, Sammy!"

"I would if you stopped treating me like a fragile flower!"

"Is it any wonder when you act so precious? You make this so fucking harder than it needs to be!"

"Hey, hey. Stop it." Cas said, standing between them and pushing Dean away gently. God, this was so complicated. "What the hell? Dean, no offence but what the fuck could have happened in the past two hours that pissed you off so much? And Sam, he's worried about you. And I did talk to him. I swear."

Neither Winchester knew who to talk first. Castiel was right in what he'd said and they seemed calmer.

"Stop fucking flirting with Cas!" Dean exploded at Sam, side stepping around Castiel without looking at him.

"Woah, what?" Castiel said. "That's not flirting!"

Sam laughed, "I'm not interested in your boyfriend, Dean. I'm just glad to have a decent nurse in this place who can act like I'm a normal person."

Dean rolled his eyes, "You're flirting."

Castiel felt the need to defend himself, "Neither of us are flirting. Sorry, Sam but you're not my type. Bit tall."

"Oi." Sam smiled. "Shortie."

Dean threw his arms up in the arm, "I give up." He laughed gently. Castiel wondered at what point could he be fighting with someone and then not in such a short space of time. Dean patted his shoulder, making Castiel spin around. Dean pulled him forward by the collar and pressed a hard kiss against his mouth. Castiel's hands hovered before finally pulling Dean off him.

Dean grinned, completely fine. He lent towards and bit Castiel's ear gently before whispering, "Come round tonight? After your shift?" Castiel was surprised but nodded anyway.

"Bye, Baby."

Castiel said goodbye back but Dean just winked at him and added, "I was talking to Sam."

Castiel looked over to Sam, who was glaring at the wall. "Twat."

"My brothers are worse." He said, meaning it. Dean was nothing compared to Lucifer and Balthazar. They were all awful to him. Balthazar once switched his school clothes during gym so Castiel was forced to walk out in clothes three sizes too small. It was either that or go in boxers. That was nothing compared to some of the pranks Gabriel had pulled.

"How's your hand?" Sam asked politely.

"Annoying as hell. They're giving me the crappy jobs and I can barley help out."

"Sorry. About the whole thing. And that whole thing."

Castiel nodded, he was used to family dramas. Especially at a hospital.

"I won't flirt with you any more." Sam said seriously.

"Shut up." He smiled, "It's not flirting. I think you may have been right about me and Dean though. I like him."

Sam had a heart shape with his hands and Castiel squatted it away. He laughed.

"What's next on your agenda today then?"

Castiel read Sam's blood pressure and ignored his question. "Sam, have you eaten anything today?"

"Yeah. Breakfast. And I drank like a jug of water."

"Are you feeling okay? Headache? Dizziness?"

Sam frowned but Castiel knew he was right. He checked Sam's temperature. He was getting a fever by the looks of things. His pulse rate might have been normal since he'd just yelled but it seemed like too much of a coincidence. His pupils were a little small.

"Sam, I'm going to take a blood test okay? See if you're coming down with something." He went out and told another nurse to finish the cycle, and warn his supervisor about Sam. "I'm sure it's something small or even nothing."

His boss smiled at him and told the nurses to keep an eye on Sam. Castiel debated about calling Dean, if it was nothing there was no use worrying about it but if it got more serious, Dean would have wanted to know immediately.

"Dean?" He went outside to call him, standing in the blistering sun. It was getting too hot too quickly. Soon the ward would be overrun with people claiming to be dying from skin cancer.

"What's up? I'm working." He could hear the business of the coffee shop behind Dean's voice.

"Nothing to be worried about, don't rush here in a panic. Some of Sam's obs this morning are a little off. We're keeping a closer eye on him but maybe pop down and see him later? He'll probably feel a bit better with you here."

He listened to Dean take a long, deep breath on the other side of the phone, trying to remain calm.

"Cas?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'll have to cancel our date tonight."

* * *

Dean spent the night with Sam as his fever got increasingly worse. Castiel went to visit Adam to get his mind off the Winchester boys, since there was nothing he could do to help. Sam was unconscious, hot and just needed to ride out the storm.

Adam wasn't in a good state himself. His Mother wasn't home- another nurse was there. He left his details with the nurse to make sure she had someone to talk to and said hey. Adam didn't seem to hear him at first.

"Adam?"

"Mmm."

"Adam. Hey, it's me, Castiel."

"Hey." He said with his eyes still shut in a daze.

"You okay?"

"Look bad, huh?"

"No." He said, coming to sit by the bed. The other nurse hovered. Castiel didn't recognise her. "Even the nurse is staring at you."

"She pretty?" Adam asked, smiling a little. His face was damp from sweat and flushed.

"Gorgeous. Open your eyes and see for yourself." The nurse came over and patted Castiel on the shoulder. Adam opened one eyes and squinted.

"Hey, beautiful. Wanna get out of here and go get a drink?"

The nurse, who Castiel could see was happy to be helping, giggled. She was blonde and very cute. Very short.

"You need to get better first, Adam."

"I'll drink water?" He suggested.

"Another time." The nurse said. "I'm Jo." She told Castiel, shaking his hand politely. "You look a little worried. Not about Adam, I hope?"

Castiel looked over at Adam. He was constantly worried about something or someone.

"Your doing well, aren't you?" Adam sighed dramatically and pretended to die but he was drifting off again.

"He's doing better." She assured him.

* * *

Castiel went back to his apartment late that night and lay down on the sofa, closing his eyes and blocking out the day. His phone vibrated in his pocket.

"Jesus." He mumbled, answering it. It had been a long day already. "Hello?" He hadn't bothered checking the caller's ID.

"Cas?" It was Dean. Castiel lay back down and pressed the phone against his ear.

"Hey, what's happening?" Sam was getting worse each hour. Dean hadn't left his side and Castiel had left them with other nurses, figuring it was best. Dean had enough to think about without having to talk to Cas.

"Just talk." Dean sighed into the phone. "I want to think about something else."

Castiel paused for a moment, was Dean drunk?

"Please." Dean added.

"About what?"

"Anything."

"My brother's coming down next week." He said, "I don't want him too." He realised quickly that talking about brothers and not wanting them around was rather a middle finger to Dean. Dean didn't say so.

"Why?"

"My family is complicated. I left them as soon as possible. My Dad's a rich twat who hired Nannies to watch us all after out Mum went AWOL. Gabriel despises him."

"What's the deal with your names? Castiel, Gabriel..."

"All angel names. Religious upbringing."

"So what do you think, about angel and stuff?"

Castiel hadn't really thought much about it. He'd been raised as a believer. "Angels are real and in heaven, serving God. I believe that. What about you?"

Dean spoke just as softly and Castiel shut his eyes again, wanting to be next to him. Hearing this from his mouth, close enough to feel his heat and touch him. Innocent gestures. Stroking back his hair. Tracing the features on his face.

"My Mum always used to say that angels were watching over us." There was silence on both phones while the men breathed in time with one another. "Sam could really use an angel right now."

* * *

Sam's condition didn't improve over the next couple of days. In his small moments of conciousness, he spoke to Dean. Dean's hand never left Sam's, like he could hold onto Sam.

Castiel didn't mention their late night conversation or going out. Dean was sent home after Sam was admitted to the ICU. Apparently the fever was burning him up too much. He had to be constantly watched. His breathing was weakening and they used an aid to relax him. He was pumped with morphine to stop him feeling any pain.

Castiel saw Dean every couple of hours and he could never find the right words. When Dean went home, it was almost a relief. It meant Dean could get some rest.

The other nurses on the ward were extra nice to Castiel which made him feel worse. After all, he wasn't the one who was dying or in pain. He hid in the staff room for some of the day.

Two more days past. Sam's condition was considered stable but he didn't feel the happiness in that. Sam wasn't better yet. He wasn't safe. Dean tried to be positive.

"I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you much." He said one day in passing. He was on his way to get a coffee from the cafeteria. He looked exhausted. There were black smudges around his green eyes from lack of sleep.

He told him that it was okay to need to be with Sam.

* * *

Castiel fell asleep on the sofa that night and was awoken to his phone ringing. He'd begun copying Dean and keeping his phone close. It was half past two in the morning. He held his breathe and answered it.

"Hello?"

A voice broke down immediately on the phone into loud, heartbroken sobs of pain. "Oh God. He's gone. He's dead."

* * *

Sorry for the cliffhanger! Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Little note that I won't be updating a new chapter this week because I'll be in Germany! Sorry.

Thanks for reading/ reviewing/ favouring/ following my story. You're all awesome.


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